In a world where, from birth, we have defined the reveal of gender through colors like pink or blue to distinguish the element of surprise that defies the expectations of those who are expecting. But what about the colors that emerge afterward? After the realization that they do not fit into the categories set by the generalization of pink or blue.
Disclaimer: It is important to promote acceptance and understanding of all sexual orientations and gender identities, and to work towards creating a society that is inclusive and supportive of all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This piece has no intent to harm any sentiments.
In a world where, from birth, we have defined the reveal of gender through colors like pink or blue to distinguish the element of surprise that dice the expectations of those who are expecting. But what about the colors that emerge afterward? After the realization that they do not fit into the categories set by the generalization of pink or blue.
What happens to those of other colors in the crayon box? Do they always remain locked inside that box? Or is it always the sunshine’s duty to reflect after the rain to display its colors? “Only after the rain,” I may quote. As far as we know, it always has to rain. Or at least we can say that nature chooses to display the colors by itself.
I want to share some stories about a few folks whom I made friends with while frequenting the LGBTQ bar. I have to say it was the most enlightening and profound conversation I’ve ever had during that time, sparking my interest in knowing more.
Countless curiosities arose in that moment, which brings us to the topic that led you here in the first place. I asked one of them: “Did you ever wish that you were straight?”
I am 25 years old, an Indian man. My work allows me to travel here frequently, but I live in the US. I remain closeted. As you know, I am not brave enough to come out in the homophobic country I belong to. Additionally, I have never been in love and have never experienced the emotions that most people do at 16. I haven’t been able to tell my parents what I am going through because they don’t even know what homosexuality means. Some of my friends know, but that’s all I have. I am not effeminate, so it’s easy to pretend that I am straight. I have dated women in the past, which makes it easy for me to continue pretending. I feel like I have been pretending my whole life, and I am tired now. I have been depressed for a long time. I know I am a coward, and I don’t dare to face the world, but that is how it is. I have nothing to look forward to on most days. I work hard, though, because that’s the only thing I have. If you think I make this sound overly dramatic, you should put yourself in my position. I just want to be straight because I want to know how it feels to be loved. That’s all. And I don’t think it’s too much to ask for.
Anonymous
I’ve met queer, gay, trans, lesbian, bisexual individuals while I was within the community. It’s not that all of them feel and think the same. Not all wish to become straight. But if I asked you, straight people, the same question – “Did you ever wish you were gay?” What would occur to you? Ask yourself.
Sometimes, it takes a while to accept yourself as being gay. We are taught from a young age that there is something wrong with being gay, that it is something to be ashamed of. But I’m finally past that. I am gay, and I am okay with it. I don’t want to be straight, and I embrace my homosexuality. It is who I am.
Michael
With all the self-questioning that has always been present within themselves, it takes courage and acceptance to feel what Anonymous and Michael have been feeling.
As for the question, almost all the folks I asked have wished to be straight at some point of their lives. Some grew through it, some embraced their identity, but many are still struggling. So, what happens to those of other colors in the crayon box? Do they always remain locked inside that box?
If you are a friend, family, a teacher, or a colleague, hold onto the crayon a little tighter and be there with them as they come out of their box into the spotlight and shine their truth.
Let us all be the sunshine to their rain and cherish the world with colors beyond pink and blue.
Amazingly there's a thing called Gay Test by wikihow. If you wanna take a test. You may try one.
